the thrill of the chase

how often is it just about the chase? as opposed to the object or person (as the case maybe)? is it a bad thing to be in it for the chase?

what if there is a role reversal and you become the prey?

once upon an april

i read a post on how to "break up" with a friend on a friends blog that got me thinking on what kind of friends do i have? type introspective questions, and random epiphanies. and...

i think we have different relationships with different people. platonic or otherwise. there are some friends who you might not have met, texted, im'd, called them in months, maybe years. but when you do call them you just pick up from where you left off. the comfort level is something altogether. quite difficult to explain.

then there are those who need constant attention. and when you haven't spoken to them in days it seems like you are miles apart. maybe it has to do with a lack to mental/emotional connection.

some have been your school/ childhood friends for years. literally decades. but life takes you on different paths i guess. and those years don't seem to make enough of an impact to make you "want" to keep in touch. or make any effort in preserving the friendship.

sometimes you even have people who fall into the random category. who you might be in touch with constantly but don't really fall into any particular category. they may not be your best friend. significant other. or family. just people who you meet randomly and sometimes even make a deep impact on your life.

maybe the point is that different people affect your life differently (duh..lol). and their impact is felt sometimes when they leave, at times when they "get" your back when you least expect it, at times when you stab you back..again when you least expect it. How you react to these various experiences depends on probably how deep you thought your relationship was. I have felt all of these above in the span of 6 months. and emotions from surprise, to joy, to sadness, to betrayal and deep deep pain.

but the good news time is a great healer. or at least diminishes the pain. the lump in the throat will get easier to swallow. and soon disappear all together.

here is to all my chicas and hombres :) who have been there through the good, bad and ugly. and to those who have not really been on their best behavior, well... your pmsing is not really my problem. :D

analyze this.

sometimes I over think and over analyze simple statements. i was never really a person like this. i used to take things at face value, and try as much as possible not to read things that may or may not have been there. but over the past few years i have changed. for the better or for worse i don't really know. sometimes i can be very objective about my personality/character traits, and sometimes very subjective.

i have moved on from the petty thing i could be (and probably was) in college. at least for the most part. become more indifferent. less indifferent when it concerns certain things/people. super sensitive at times. more emotional. scared. understanding. confused. selfish.

i want all my friends to be with you. considering each is migrating to another new country. i want to be happy. more importantly peace of mind.

each night is spent in analyzing different things. and end with some depressing thought. but the morning is inevitably a new day where i am upbeat (craving kapi) but overall ok.

think maybe yoga would help??

meet me halfway??

i dont think i am in any mood to sacrifice. anything. but ill think about a compromise. et tu??

:D :D

You Are Silver

You are down to earth and unpretentious. You don't feel like you need to show off, and you're very secure with your place in the world. You are understated and elegant. You carry yourself with poise, and you're more known for what you don't do than what you do. You can fit in anywhere from a country western bar to a black tie gala. You are adaptable and adventurous. You are blind to social class and background. You see people as who they are ... not as where they came from or how much money they have.

wheeeeeeeee

You Are an iPhone

You are one of those early adopter, super geek chic types. You like a gadget that has a ton of features to fuel your tech obsessions. You tend to know the inner workings of every toy, phone, and computer you own. You’re always exploring and learning. You want the most leading edge phone you can find, at almost any cost. You’re usually the first one in line for the latest iPhone!

boredom part 5

You Love to Talk About Ideas

You like your conversations to be deep and meaningful. You are not a big fan of small talk. You are open to all sorts of conversation topics, especially if they are unique or interesting. You love it when a conversation takes you somewhere unexpected. You will talk about anything, even if it's controversial or weird. You aren't shy about speaking your mind. You may shock people with what you're willing to talk about, but at least it's more interesting than discussing the weather. hmmm quite true.

HAHAHAHA!!

Your Inner Gender is Male

You are rational, matter of fact, and quite dominant. You like to get things done, without any emotional messiness. You truly don't understand most women. And you definitely feel more comfortable around men. No doubt about it. You're a guy - at least on the inside.

part three

You Are 30% Hyper

You aren't exactly hyper, but no one would accuse you of being lazy either. You have enough drive to get everything done - with energy to spare. You don't get overly worked up or rushed. You'll happily take your time. And you definitely enjoy your down time. You can only be hyper for so long. Unlike more hyper types, you don't have a ton of interests and friends. You prefer concentrating on what matters to spreading yourself too thin.

boredom part deux

You Are Dark Purple

To others, you seem a bit dark, mysterious, and moody. In truth, you are just a very unique person who doesn't care what others think. And you really enjoy your offbeat interests and friends. You've decided that life is about living for yourself - simple as that. (this does ring true :P)

boredom part.1

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

"they count on me to be strong when they are weak. But who's strong for me when i'm weak?"

if you don't act on what you say then your words don't really mean much do they??

iPhone

the title is self explanatory. **SIGH** :D :D :D

something old/ something new.

i have often wondered how people can forget their friends just because they are in romantic relationships. your friends have been there through the good, bad and the ugly. they have stood by you through your bad hair days, fat days and no money in the wallet days. they don't care what your bank balance looks like. or the fact that you might need five layers of make up to look presentable. they are unwaveringly loyal, and get your back almost every damn time.

i get your boyfriend/ girlfriend/husband/wife means a lot to you etc. but there comes a problem when you make some one your world (as opposed to a part of it). what will you do when the world comes crashing down? who is going to hold your hand when the going gets tough?

my friends are one of the best things that ever happened to me. and are my most favourite people in the world. they ground me. make me laugh. wipe my tears when im sad. and hold my hand and will continue to hold it through the good, bad and the ugly.

i know i dont really say it enough but they mean the world to me. thank you! :D

thought for the day

what other people think about you is none of your business.

organised chaos

first off i realised that i would be turning 25 this year. which is fucked up. cause 25 seems all old and grown up. i would have figured my life out. been in the line of my choosing. maybe made some step towards getting some place of my own. (ha. ha)

but its no where close to that. i still feel like i am drifting in and out of things. and that i am still so impulsive, that sometimes nothing seems sacred. and i like my job. but i dont think i love it. and as for getting my own place, i dont think that would be happening soon. i dont particularly feel responsible. or old. in my head i feel young (hence got the license to not take things too seriously)...

part 2: i miss my brother. its fun to have him around. he is family. and maybe even my grandma (mum's mum).

i dont really know if 2010 is going to be a good year. 2009 sucked ass towards the end. in a way things did even out. and that which has not killed me, has only made me stronger. but i dont want to have any high expectations from it.. dont really want to be shot down again.

and a question : do all good things come to an end??

hmmm..

do you think sometimes some one might be happier without you in their lives?

(not everyone are of the opinion that everything happens for a reason, no regrets in life.. blah)

q&a's

question: if your in a fucked up mood, is it fair to take it out on the people around you?

in the sense do you expect people to understand you, there by assuming you have the license to be the bitch??

(i would like to think that when i pms i hole up in my room and not meet people; thereby not transferring the love around. but i need to do a small survey to know the truth)

a whole new world

i wonder what it is like when some one makes you their entire world. might get a tad boring. since i like people with a backbone, and varied interests from mine. but everyone once in a while it just might be flattering to think your worth all that. to be that important that some one changes plans just to be with you, or do whatever you want to...

its amazing to have that bond with people where you can be honest and not be afraid to be yourself. or be afraid to open up cause your scared they might leave. or worse get hurt.

though lesson learnt the hard way pain and an adversary that does not kill you, will definitely make you stronger. maybe more vengeful even.

p.s: im still waiting for the words to turn into actions. and then maybe i can trust you.