a whole lot of leaving.

im headed to london. offcially. fees paid. visa happning on wed i guess. no im not excited. but i know ill be fine. i guess that is the kind of resilience you develop. you learn to adjust. to adapt. forget. move on. so ill be doing all the above said.

and im sad as well. mostly because im leaving cause i cant deal with my parents. grendparents. basically people you would call family. so yay.

last day of work coming up. so then ill have some money to shop with before i head out.

okie im off for now.

general

update time i guess.

i have been working again. i realised that the more you sit at home and see more of family members and the like, the more irrational and insane u tend to get. so when a temporary position (a month and a half typa thing) opened up at the australian trade comission i took it up. not related to fashion, i am market support. which essentially means bitch work. but decent people to work with. amazing contacts. and fab pay. having said all of that i love my fashion field. and want to work with that. if only the jobs paid well enough to manage my lifestyle without out looking towards my father for money. i like the creativity, and job satisfaction. i like the bouncing of ideas back and forth. i like the reading up you have to do. the painting, drawing, boards. blah. this other job is more mechanical. and you have to wear formals!! sigh. i am not complaining, just a compare & contrast type of thing.

though, its quite nice to be occupied with some thing throughout the week. that way you tend to appreciate the weekend a lot more. and there by make more of an effort to chill with the few people you want to. but inevitably it means that you lose your ability to sleep through the damn day. i hate that. i am awake at damn 9am with nothing to do the whole day. so inevitably i lounge in bed and attain new levels in 'slothhood' :P

yesterday there was some random 'satyanarayana puja' at home. we have puja's at the drop of a at. if god exists and gave a crap about these things my grandparents have booked themselves a place in heaven for sure. of course at that rate ill be hanging ten in hell. but its all cool. so since it is a puja you have the entire family gathered. so inevitably im at my anti- social best. so i wasted time in my room and bolted the minute the lunch started and didnt return home till the house was clear of 'well-meaning' family members.

tomorrow back to the 9-5 routine. i think i am meant to be my own boss. i can deal with only so much of being told what to do. after a point i start with "who the fuck are you to tell me what to do" attitude.