in sickness and in health

the whole of march i have been a very sickly child. i would (and still am) recover from one to plunge into another. it started with me hurting my knee. or actually my right leg sleeping off on me at 3am. and when i woke up it could not take my entire body weight. there by leaving all sad and in pain on the fucking floor for about 30 mins. then i slowly got up and crawled to the bed. The next day joy of all joys i could not walk properly. i could rest my body weight on that leg. and the left leg has hit a cabinet during the fall and i had a huge blue bruise on the that leg.

then just as i could walk. and not feel like an invalid. i fainted in college. the teacher who was with me when i fainted says it might be due to low bp. with a family like mine i wonder how that is possible. but yeah. i recovered. ate and went home. half day pay cut.

only to fall sick with viral fever the entire weekend. throat pain. fever. body ache. the works i say .

now as viral fever has disappeared, one side fo my head is paining. only one side. and it is very wierd since i never get headaches unless i haven't had kapi in sometime. brother is joyfully predicting tumor. biyach that he is. friend says i might be heading towards migraine and the like. which is extremely sad. as i am writing this i can feel the thorbbing in the left side of my fucking head. and i have 3 cups of kapi in the past hour and half.

sighhh.

im quite eagerly waiting for march to come to a halt. and hoping i start april on a fresh note.

what goes around comes back around

sometime last year brotha dearest had gone to the rowing nationals to hyderabad. where he was only civillian to compete in a competition monopolised by the 'army men'. there were many unfair practices adopted by the army competition, the minute they found out that my brother was actual competition. as a result brother wasnt selected for the finals. and the person who did win the finals went to the asian games. much to the disappointment of baby brother.

but well as the tile goes what goes around comes back around. brother was determined to kick army ass. so he started training for the past 6 months. traning began at 4.30am involved stirict diets and intensive workouts. and he went to the nationals again this year. and well he won the gold. he is the youngest ever to do so. and the first civillian in 20 years to whoop army ass. and what is more heartening is the fact that james sir who whooped army ass 20 years ago trained my brother for the nationals :)

this reminds me of all those zillion sports movies i have seen where the underdogs win after much toil and hardship. most deserving win if i do say so.

she will be loved.

i think with my head.

write with my heart.

and talk with a bravado thats,

more farce than true.

off late im on a 'what if' trip.

for the only beauty of unrequitted love lies in the 'what if'

and the bravado that usually flows so easily

well seems to have deserted me.

its not about comittment.

might be about trust. faith even.

it probably is about letting your guard down

a free fall of trust.

hope.

but, actually is just a prayer that someone does not,

will not,

break your heart.