sign out

alwite peeps. im off to amchi mumbai for Mood Indigo. essentially shopping and a muchly deserved break.


so see you folks on the other side. merry christmas everyone!

p.s: had a very trauma/ drama filled week. after i come back from mumbai if it is still pricking moi i shall blog.. (note: will mail u abt it jan :P)

time pass (mmm maybe not)

over the weekend saw 'i am legend'. the movie was total and complete and utter shite! i thought will smith, movie must atleast be half way decent. i actually expected a total action flick... and what we got was some crap. and more crap. to add the the joy there was some lady at the back who just kept screaming through out the film. if she wasnt screaming she was talking. and thereby i kept jumping off my seat all the time, courtesy her blood curdling screams. i admit the movie was scray in certain parts.. but nothing worth screaming for. the emotional high point of the film was when his dog dies. i almost cried. it was really sad. but the rest of the film siiggghhh.. i cant believe will smith acted in that crap.

i want to see 'khoya khoya chand'. and '1408'. andddd... k i dont have time for anything else will be heading to bombay soon you see :)

P.S:

to add to the sunshine and the joy the street styling that was done was liked by the head honcho in dilli. so life may not be so bad after all.

lil' miss sunshine

we are heading to Mood Indigo. Not participating in the fashion show, but we are headed to Mood I. and that is something to look forward to. its like a culmination of a semster. and despite the fights we are headed there more or less like a group. there is some simmering tension and dislike, but everyone is willing to forego the angst for a week of shopping, partying and IIT, powai (read: hawt punjabi bois!).

:D

big girls dont cry.

i have gone on and on about my mother being in denial about so many things in her life. and ill be quite the hypocritcal bitch if i didnt say that there are times (certain times only) when i pretend that i dont know whats going on. or i just turn away from the whole thing. and i would be lying if i said i didnt care. i do. and i know what is going on. and what im feeling. but i dont want to acknowledge it. excellent stuff or hindi films. or those god awful serials atleast.

sometimes you just want the moment to last. especially when everything is so damn transient! sometimes you realise that it may not be worth the effort. passion requires effort which im not prepared to show. or feel. and love requires and understanding and tact i dont understand or possess. or maybe this is something im in denial about. i think this is the crux of the problem. and im not interested in a solution.

ok im going to stop thinking about this and more importantly blogging about this. reading it gives me a head(heart?)ache.

heads up peeps.

a good phrend and homie has started her own blog on upcoming/ established indian artists, photographers etc etc

http://masalachaionline.blogspot.com/

please drop by when ever.

crossroads.

direction is very important. and not just to get from point a to b. but to figure out if you want to go from a to b, ot vice versa. and when you have passengers on board as well, it is even more important to agree on the direction. just because you both seem to be headed in the same direction, need not necessarily mean you are. assumption is just quite the bitch. and so is expectation.

at the beginning

the start is quite definitely the most difficult. every sunday at times i have to wonder what all has to be accomplished and kind of die with worry as to how the rest of the week will progress. i think it goes with the theory of fear of the unknown type of thing. ok that was a bit dramatic, but get the drift im sure. but when monday comes and goes by as today has i realise that it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be. not to say it was easy or stree free. but it wasnt so bad. and that i can deal with it and move on to the next day. and the next. the start is the worst, then it just gets better. or more importantly you get used to it. and hopefully one follows the other!

the winter of my discontent

this post will give new meaning to the term drowning in self pity. so those not interested in sob stories move on.

now for sob #1: not participating in 'adaa' (mood indigo) no money. not enough models. too much bickering. too many fights. sobbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

sob #2: i think officially my life is going to be ending. by that i mean any last remains of a social life that i had going. its the same old shite of me and my 'i need my space issue'. though this time i think i will have all the space i want and no one to share it with. awesomeness i say!

sob#3: we had to do a 'street styling' for one of the head honchos in dilli. and there is no style on chennai streets. so we decided to work our own style on chennai streets. and well we went a bit over the top. and we are way past deadline so no time to reshoot. sobbbbbbbbbbb.

sob#4: i think i should figure out what it is i wana be doing later. say a few months down the line. and im still drawing a blank. i think with the money i made from my job, i should just shift to some small hut in goa and chill.

i cant deal with any more tears at the moment. im all cried out. literally and figuritively.
goodnight

p.s: going to tirupur over the weekend. so might do some shopping and the world may not seem to sad.

on track. just about.

mood indigo is happening or happening? is the question my dear. after round 10 of fights we have booked tickets. and now finalised theme and dresses. now we need to co ordinate some more regarding the only thing that will hold this together, and that is sponsors. since we are just perenially making presentations and not get gotten any money confirmed, lets see how this thing goes forth.
sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
though i want to go. especially to prove a point. quite petty. but i want to.
and ofcourse the shopping. :D

overdose

they say too much of anything is always a bad thing. (now dont go asking me who is this they) but yeah anyway.. so is too much passion a bad thing as well? passion for anything your job something you like.. someone you love.. whatever. but i have always thought that a little space/distance from everything always puts things into better perspective. or atleast a different perspective.

Baggit.

ok diwali has come and gone. and i spent diwali in college due to some lovely goof up but yeah.

k now to get to Rad's 'tag" about what we have in our handbags... :

vokay this post is like sooo relevant. because i just bought meself a huggee Moschino bag, and had to empty out the earlier one to flash my new bag around da place you see :P
now i have two bags. one i take to work (college) everyday and weighs a ton. and the other that i take when i socialise. so ill list the contents of both. i am quite jobless on monday as you can see.

ok the contents of the (waaayyy to heavy) college bag are *drum roll*:

• note book- overflowing with scraps of paper.
• Blue ball point pen.
• black ball point pen. ( no no no colour co ordination and the like, i thought i lost the blue one hence put a black one as well in the bag, while cleaning found both:)
• another notebook. this is for aesthetic purpose. it has a bright pink cover. :P
• sunglases. huge purple aviators.
• bright pink i pod nano + senheisser headphones (the damn funky ones that fold in to something really small.
• a book to read at the moment - Salman Rushdie's Imaginary Homelands.
• wallet. with like 20 bucks and nothing more than that :p
• tiny telephone book -contacts/address's etc. which i never open. its mostly there for show, cause yeah im that important
• tissue.
• keys to office desk.
• orbit white
• hard disk-80gb with the entire contents of presentations/college work etc.
• then the "make up bag" :) with lip balm, kajal, compact face powder, moisturiser, small perfume bottle.

k that is bag one. now you know why i need so much kapi to keep me going. i have tried to take out some stuff.. but everything seems important and well i like to hoard so yeah........

k socialising bag, which btw is also a moschino. i had some fur thingy..(faux/fake fur) but with the rain and all i thought best not to risk the bag any more than necessary:

so here goes , this one is waaay lighter. there is nothing in it almost *drum roll again*:

• kajal - black
• kajal- jade :)
• lip balm
• tissue
• compact face powder thingy
• perfume bottle
• then those tiny perfume testers (D&G 'Light Blue'/ Britney Spears 'Fantasy')
• wallet. with way more money than 20 rupees. :)
• ball point pen
• sunglasses - huge aviators in bronze- which i bought yesterday and are my pride and joy as of now :P
• sony cybershot digi cam. (i just ADORE photos. being in them and taking photos. the camera is perenially in the bag :)

so yeah that about sums it up. if indi and jan are jobless enough i would like you to attempt this. :)

GROAN

i have been sick. quite sick. fainting in college type sick. but im still in college because.. well because i have taken too many holidays otherwise. ;(

aside from that diwali is coming up like in a few days... and well i have'nt shopped, thought about diwali even. i think full last minute shopping..

and if i dont post anything over the week.. Happy Diwali to everyone. ;)

Bheja fry

finished watching "life in a metro" was a decent film. goin to watch cheeni kum today.

i am reading salman rushdie's "imaginary homelands" and everytime i read it i am reminded of all the concepts that i learnt during my 3 year tenure as a literature student. i dont know if i am able to appreciate the essays better because of my literature grounding (in terms of concept and background) or if the over analysing the book is killing it..

actually that has been a sore point during the course itself. i louuve to read. and will read anything. but as a student you cant read for the love of reading. you have read a book and analyse it in terms of theme, background, history, author/poet/essayist, author's history/background, era, socio economic factors, symbols. etc etc.

so inevitably we would read it merely for the analysis aspect of it. we were given a couple of pointers to look for while reading and that is all we did. i did read dozen of books and remember them as well.. but how many did i enjoy i cant really say..

synopsis

just narrowly missed some more media publicity. this time from makkal tv. now this channel i havent even heard of. so anyway they wanted to conduct a 15 minute session on how the fashion course empowers women. point to be noted it was all supposed to be in tamil!! anyway they decided they didnt want my brilliant sound bytes.. so that is that.

just saw half of "life in a metro". im really loving it. especially the songs.

and finished reading 'harry potter and the deathly hallows'. finally. didnt cry like i did for the previous two books. though i thought the ending with harry having children and the like killd it.. but yeah.

now goin to watch rest of "life in a metro."

15 mins of fame

ever since i have joined college (student/ faculty) i have been either modelling or come on television. this is not to say that i like the attention. im quite happy standing on the sidelines and watching the show. im very happy being the person behind the camera rather than infront of the camera. so yesterday jaya tv had come to college to shoot a segment of the students for mrs.homemakers. the students have to style 20 ladies for a reality show which will be aired from the 26th oct. which is basicaly from today onwards. the grande finale will take place on 21st Nov and that will be an onstage event like a regular beauty pageant.

so anyway yesterday the crew came to shoot the segment, and it was supposed to be a small segment with the students explaining some sari drapes and the styling that the students will be doing on the final day. as the lovely day dawned i thought i would leave mid way as i was sick. viral fever and the like. but what was supposed to be a small segemnt became a two hour affair with the contestants "ramp walking" in the classroom and more than the 20 mins of sound bytes from a very sick baliga. why they wanted me on camera was beyond me. i didnt have anything to do with the whole thing.

though photos of the students work over the past few years in college as well as styling for the finale all have been showcased along with me blabbering in english, which will be dubbed in tamil for the viewers.. thye actually wanted me to speak in tamil for the segment.. which would have been hilarious.. you tube stuff even.. :P

though feeling better and still dying with the after effects of ze fever..

building blocks.

i think i should add building 'castles in the air' to my skill sets in the resume. if i go by what i had planned for myself and where i see myself.. with 5 year plans all chalked out nice and neat i would have taken over some small country or something.. sigh. but the catch being they are all in my head. in reality i cant seem to show enough passion for most things in life. i mean i have a lot of interests and i want to do a lot of things. but setting them in motion seems like such a task. i know "they" say the start is the most difficult. but some where down the line i tend to lose the fire that in started the venture with. not to say ill bail out. ill last it through if i have to but the interest would have died..

and i also realised that people matter quite a bit to me. not too many people but the few who get under my skin seem here to stay. and for those few im willing to do whatever it takes. i dont see the point in making a lot of money if there is no time and no one to spend it with.

im hoping soon enough id find something that i truly want to do.. and something id feel so passionately about to last through the good bad and ugly. while at the same time have those precious few around to share it with. hopefully.

incomplete

i strated reading 'the unbearable lightness of being' over 2 months back. and never got to finishing it. this is the second book in my whole life that i have left mid way. The introduction was brilliant. but somehere down the line i lost the inclination to complete the book. though from the first 4 pages of the book two things have stayed with me:

• first is Neitzsche's concept of eternal return :

What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.' [The Gay Science §341]

Eternal return (also known as "eternal recurrence") is a concept which posits that the universe has been recurring, and will continue to recur in the exact same self-similar form an incomprehensible and unfathomable number of times. - Botyh quotes taken from wikipedia.

• second the concept of life being a sketch. the basic idea is that if life is sketch and we assume/ presume that we have only one life to live. then something done only once, could not/ need not have happened at all. a very pessimistic view as far as i see it. but it is an interesting concept.

i tend to read books, watch movies/ plays essentially for the concept and execution of the concept. i can read anything, and very few books tend to impress me concept wise.. ever since i have completed my loving course in literature i cant seem to just read things.. i tend to analyse them.. and conceptualise them... this is quite frustrating at times.

MOOD i :)

our 2 themes for mood i :

• one is music based. be inspired by a music genre/ artists/ styling etc and create ur own interpretation of the whole thing. rock/ pop/ hiphop/ country/ oriental/ regional etc etc. should be easy right? wrong. this where we have come up with the most cliched ideas ever. sigh. back to the drawing board with this one.

• second is based on "opposites attract". polarities. right/ wrong, good/ bad, white/ black, yin/yang. on this one we have a very very decent theme. and we have the styling et all figured out :)

now its a matter of putting across our concept decently. and having fun in mood i. minus the fights hopefully.

sing for the moment.

certain songs have always filled with a certain type of emotion. if its sad/ melancholic then i feel sad/ depressed automatically. though i might have been the happiest person on the planet right uptill then. and certain songs never fail to make me upbeat and lift my mood irrespective of how sad i have been. music has mostly influenced my moods/ mood swings. not vice versa. and not to say these mood swings last too long. after the song im fine. just during the duration of the song ... its like i become some one else.. and off late its these totally bollywood numbers that have been getting me happy/ sad as the case maybe :P

ohh and tomorrow is a holiday, being ayudh puja and the like :) after a loong time a phull weekend (sat and sun). wheeeeeeee :D