i have gone on and on about my mother being in denial about so many things in her life. and ill be quite the hypocritcal bitch if i didnt say that there are times (certain times only) when i pretend that i dont know whats going on. or i just turn away from the whole thing. and i would be lying if i said i didnt care. i do. and i know what is going on. and what im feeling. but i dont want to acknowledge it. excellent stuff or hindi films. or those god awful serials atleast.
sometimes you just want the moment to last. especially when everything is so damn transient! sometimes you realise that it may not be worth the effort. passion requires effort which im not prepared to show. or feel. and love requires and understanding and tact i dont understand or possess. or maybe this is something im in denial about. i think this is the crux of the problem. and im not interested in a solution.
ok im going to stop thinking about this and more importantly blogging about this. reading it gives me a head(heart?)ache.
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