lights, camera.. freezzeee!

stage fright+ me = bad thing.. but that is something that i am just going to have to deal with.. cause baby my college has been invited to participate in 'Mood Indigo', (IIT, Powai), in the fashion show. now that should technically be a piece of cake considering we are a 'fashion college', but welllll we dont have enough models. most of our models (except yours truly) are 5"0. we have not yet finalised the costumes. our theme is half baked.. and we have a bollywood round. so cliche is the name of the game. aside from all the positive points i have discussed just now.. there are close to 15 of us going.. and it will hopefully be fun! and there are loads of performances and events that i am really looking forward to. two things i am not looking forward to the weather for starters. and the company.. aside from 6 students the rest are from the managment class and well to put it mildly we dont exactly 'gel'......... so a 30 hour train journey is going to be entertaining to say the least.

questions.

yesterday watched 'mitr- friend', and wasnt impressed in the least. have no idea why i thought the film would be great.. but anyway. what really irritated me was the ending.. not once do either the husband or the wife think of the conseqences of understanding another person better than their own spouse. lets just say that the person he/she was chatting with wasnt the spouse.. then would it have still been a happy ending?? and when shobana does question her husband saying that he had the time to visit some faceless woman from the internet for a rendevous.. cant we say the same about her? but not once do they wonder what would happen if the person they connect with was someone else..

no i am not being some moral police.. just wondering how two people can continue in a relationship when they think that their spouse/ partner connects with someone else better. isnt it worse if you partner connects better with someone else than you, than knowing that your partner cheated on you (had a physical relationship with someoneelse..)??

uhhh what?

technology and me donot exactly go hand in hand.. im sure those who know me will add testimony to this fact. over the past week. ( last saturday to be exact) my dear dear laptop decides to die on me. not literally, just that it is slow as hell and well i cannot use the damn keyboard. my father is convinced it is a virus, because of all the music i download, and gets some anti virus software to get rid of the virus. so after much drama, the software is installed. why the drama?? because i cannot type. so we have cut, copy, paste certain commands from word documents and get the computer to function. so now we have the virus removed, and you would think that the keyboad would function right?? wrong. the keyboard still acts up.

so we finally get the expert to come and check out the computer. he says that the virus has been removed but there is a short circuit, and hence i cannot use the keyboard. and the solution is that i ahve to replace the keyboard. point to be noted : this is a damn laptop!! so im wondering how much the replacement of keyboard will cost, and how drama daddy dearest is going to give me. but lo and behold today the laptop is functioning a-ok!! all the keys. alphabets.numbers. are in working order. so what happened to the short circuit?

miss congeniality.

my penchant for anti sociality (is it even a word:) is prevalent during festival times as well it seems! but the festival did remind of a few things.. one that if i had gubby still he would have been a year old. :( second, i do not have ANY photos with my family members. lol.. so on saturday morning i get up, get dressed (much to shock/ amazement of parents) and get ready to take photos. so i get the whole family together, all dressed to the hilt; now comes the problem, each family member thrives on anti social behaviour of various kinds. so each person 'stands' for the photos like they have never seen the other. after much coaxing we have a semblance of family bonding occuring in the photographs.

for the record each family member expressed how 'happy' i looked at various points of the photo session. if they only knew i am a happy person!! (when they aren't around.. ;)

besides cordial photo sessions, i went around the neighbourhood distributing sweets ( a first for me in recent times), and some of the neighbours had no idea who i was and vice versa.. and talking about sweets i miss the fact that diwali used to be an elaborate function till some years back. we used to have 'chefs' coming at home to make the sweets. and the excitement that surrounded diwali well.. just doesnt exist any more. now its more about whos wearing what, and how much did that cost. *sigh*

not that i am a fmaily person, but there are somethings money cant buy.

S.O.S

i have a presentataion due next week.. its on the mens wear project that i have been working on for the past one month. and the hard work will HAVE to show on that one particular day. probably next friday. the theme is 'gutter glam'. its an amalgamation of punk rock styling meets fashion kind of a thing.. and i need help with styling the presentation. i know what im going to talk about. motormouth baliga is not usually at a loss for words... but im talking about the whole presentation and the background.. etc.etc.etc.. so any tips??? anyone..??

its been a while.

hello its been quite sometime.. for one i have run out of things to talk about.. and two work +college is a killer combination. i have a whole new perspective and respect for students who study and then work to pay the damn fees! i salute y'all. one more week, and then the internship is over. im exactly thrilled that itis getting over because i am having loads of fun at work. and learing a lot as well.

what am i learning?

- i learnt that diesel jeans are manufactured for 50-75 rupees and sold at over 4,000.
- that the design department ( because of our inherent 'coolness';) is universally not liked by other departments. same principle works in my college :)
- the design department does not have a dress code.. hence a lot of us could be arrested for indecent exposure..lol..
- gap, diesel, missy sixty, topshop, zara, energy, tommy hilfiger, tom tailor, fcuk are but, SOME of the brands that the company deals with.
- and more importantly i learnt that i am an average size. and ALL the clothes are made to fit my size. so if i 'hang' with the right people i might have a whole new wardrobe. :P



oh and yesterday went shopping with daddy dearest. those of you who know me dont collapse of those seats, my i pod died so i needed his 'visa power' to buy my new pink nano. :) and as things go no one likes the new pink nano but moi, so they have placed an order for me. so by tonight i shall be reunited with my love! lol.

slave labour.

after one week of working i realise that i am not built for hard physical work. ok i am not working in coal mines.. im actually sitting in an airconditioned room and surfing the net for fashion trends.. or gossiping.. or having coffee. yeah its work. but the people are nice and its a chilled out work atmosphere.

so work starts at 12.30 and 1.15 lunch break starts, so how could i possibly go on without lunch. by the time i am settling down after lunch, kapi beckons! and how could moi function without her fix?? and 6.45 is pack time. so yeah its all in a days work.

jokes apart work is very intersting. and i completely enjoy the thought process, designing and the research involved. its something i see myself doing after i finish college. so yeah im getting all mature and thinking about my future y'all. lol..


ohh this is post number 200. whoohoo. :)

saturday night live.

the best times of our lives happen not in five star hotels and neither can they be bought with money. saturdays are always spent with wondering where to party. who to party with.. more importantly who 'not' to party with.. so a better part of the day is spent in sms's and calls. but there quite a few who believe that alcohol and drugs dont necessarily lead you to nirvana. a better part of my 'infamous' saturday was spent in college stitching my handbag. as the teacher said either i submit and leave or fail the module. my life is full of choices.. really it is! and then it was a toss between a another mindless/senseless party or a quite dinner with a friend. me being me opted for the dinner over the party. not to say we had a really expensive dinner or great ambience. we bought food sat on the pavement at beseant nagar beach and ate and talked and (but ofcourse) abused our respective colleges. an awesome saturday night if i must say. :)

btw miami vice is shit.

and brother didnt make it throught he final selections :( they apparently take only the top 2.. and he came in third. which is not bad at all considering hes the third best rower in the country.. bbuutt hes coming home ;)

wahh???? not pink ;(

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

href="What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorshouldyourblogorjournalbequiz/">What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

happy hour.

happy days are here to stay.

reasons??

1: project submission is over. (part 1 that is.)

2: grandparents have gone to tirupathi for the weekend..lol...

3. teacher loved the project work.

4. it rained yesterday. and though i am freezing my ass off.... its nice. and all the encouragement i need for another cup of kapi.

5. i can sleep. finally!!! now that the project is over. :)

dilemma

i dont like the sleaze that is an integral part of the job profile. i dont like the derogatory comments. i dont like the fact that im mentally traumatised thinking about going for work. i dont like the fact that safety is an issue at the work place. and i wonder if i 'm over reacting and i should just take it as it comes...... ;(

london calling.

life does come one full circle. and what begins has an ending. a year back after all those awful fights and arguments with my parents out of complete desperation and anger i did finally join a fashion college. and i was so jaded about the whole college, the people, the teachers. i reconciled myself to it. college and back is all i thought. but then strange things happen. when you least expect it life throws at you curve balls which since you never expect it, it hits you straight in the head.

i dont remember the times when we have hung out, or all the fun things we have done. but i will never forget the first day. i wore those awful jeans and a t-shirt that aptly said 'all stressed out and no one to choke', and you wore a kurta (black and white i thnk..) and black jeans. i was supposed to sit next to some others. but i thought what the hell and sat next to you. from then on there was no looking back. the numerous shopping trips, clubbing, coffee drinking sprees, last minute plans, raving and ranting sessions... they are all a blur.

now sweetheart you are on your way to london.. probably there by now. ( and i soo wanted to come to see you off at the airport!) i am soo happy for you. your dream has come true. and yet i am so sad.. i selfishly want you to stay here, shop/ club/bitch with me. i wanted to do so many things before you left. we should have gone to bangalore. we should have gone clubbing once more. maybe one more shopping trip. it hasnt yet hit me that you have gone. unless im going to pick up that cell hear that the sim has been deactivated it wont hit me. and then its going to hurt like a bitch.

when you left the damn college for better pastures me being the 'optimist' that i am, thought that was the end of our lovely friendship... i somehow think all relationships will come to an end. but its been close to a year and we are closer than ever. and your one of my best friends. it hurts so much to think that life is going to go this way for another year till i get there myself. ( pls find that rich dude soon!;). but i know ill get over it. and i know you will kick ass in london. and i know you will be famous. and successful. and still remain the same person that i know and love.

somehow i cant seem to tell you all this face to face.. i just balk at the idea of wearing my heart on my sleeve. and somehow i find it easier to say the most important things, to the most important people in my life through a mail. or worse a blog. yesterday i was just getting ready for an emotional meltdown, when i decided to leave. i must have just metioned to you, that i will miss you. how much, only i know. so you be a good girl and start saving money for me to join you. i have aldready started my 'move ass to london fund'. mail me once your settled down. bye babe. miss you. and love you loads.

think pink.

my teacher says that im too 'kick ass' and dont seem like a 'pink person'. i really donot understand why you need to love chick flicks, skirts and flowers to like pink. i prefer action films. donot like romantic movies. dont own a skirt (dont think a micro mini, which friend gifted, counts;). not crazy about flowers.. or things conventionally girly yet i louve pink. the point isnt what my teacher said or didnt say. its is just that we tend to stereotype people based on their personalities/ musical inclinations/ lifestyle/ dressing. which i think is unfair. no indiviual is entirely black or white. everyone is a mix of the two. and to categorise people into norms/ conventional stereotypes is.. well stupid. simply because in the real world there are no cliches.

fun times.

two significant events. not that too many people care.. but... ;)

• nokia pc suite software functioning a-ok and i have uploaded some pictures onto the photo blog. finally!!! and i didnt have to delete any pictures from the cell. this is very good news.
• second i got the internship with the stylist. and things are hectic... but interesting. so alls good for now. ;)

Encore.

hey there can you sing a song for me?

perhaps hold me a little while longer..

guess i didn't try hard enough,

or.. you just didn't want to stay.

at times i read so much into those small things you do.
words, actions, nuances.
i read, so much into those little things,
though we are not meant to be..
i cant help wishing, what if?
so, im here again, asking one more time

hey there can you sing a song for me.
and, hold me a little while longer.

with or without you.

having a brother is a pain in the ass. i mean it. and that too is he one year younger than you its a serious pissoff! you tend to go through the angsty teenage phase together, there by hating each other, fighting, ratting out on each other. yeah i feel bad for my mother thinking about it. but considering that there is only a year and like 3 months difference we get along very well. now that is. i remember right upto first year of college some 3 years back i hated his guts. and vice versa. but hate him or love him, you cant live without him. he is the one person i call family. hes the only one who knows what is happening in my life, and this works the other way around too. there is so much i can learn from him its not funny. the dogged determination , and single minded pursuit of what he wants, the drive to complete the task at hand, dedication, and endurance. he approaches everything that interests him with so much enthusiam and determination that when he fails, i feel bad/angry for him. when he likes something/ someone he wears his heart on his sleeve. dont think he would like to know this though.

the reason that there is so much love in the air for my 'baby bro' is that he has been selected as a probable for the indian team in rowing. and if he gets through the final selection he will be representing the country at the asian games. and but of course he did not tell me parents till a couple of days ago. ( my bro rocks i say;). he is leaving to hyderabad for an intensive three month training camp, and i will miss him. :( and i hope he'd kick some serious ass baby!

thank you.

some lessons in life are learn't best through pain. otherwise we just wouldnt appreciate the joys, that we more often than not tend to take for granted. but its not about the pain any more its learning to cope with it knowing that there will be something at the end of it. not just anything, but something better. at times i get so caught up in my own little world with its trivialities that i tend to forget the bigger perspective/ picture. and i need small nudges in the right direction. these more often than not come from the most unexpected places and the most unexpected people. i have a tendency to judge people. not in terms of how much money/ how goodlooking.. but judge people in terms of how close i need to get to them. its purely based on self preservation. and when i tend to do this i never go back on my first impression. which isnt a good thing. except so many times i have been proven wrong that i have to go back and re think my 'choices'. the point to this long winding introduction is that as said a gazillion times my friends mean the world to me. but at times you tend to take them for granted. and i have done just that. and i feel like shit.

there are some friends who are there for me all the time that i tend to take their presence for granted. they are always there just a call away, a message away.. whatever. but the point is that they listen to my nonsense, my ravings and rantings wihtout so much as a judgment. no advice offered unless asked. and i have never told my friends how much they mean to me. as college/ school friends will add testimnoy to this fact, they donot care what i wear, what i dont wear, or how i look. i am just me. and they accept me with my positive and negative points. well to cut the long story short i just want to thank them for being there for me. though i maynot be there for them at times... and listening to my bullshit at ungodly hours. and providing the much needed sanity/ rationality to my insane thoughts and ideas.

its getting hawt in here. ;)

well college isnt as bad i thought it would be.. maybe that is because i donot have to juggle work and studies as yet.. once that starts maybe it would be sad.. ;) maybe. yesterday we started with our first module: mens illustration ;) and the homework was to 'read/observe' men's magazines. so i spent quite a bit of the day gawking at hot international/ indian models.. it is the teachers orders after all,and im not the one to disobey. no sir! lol.. and today we had to draw poses of our own.. or try to draw poses from magazines. the poses have come out vey nicely i must say.. and the men look very hot! so my friend and me spent time after college (have i ever voluntarily stayed back) deciding who we are going to draw for tomorrows class.

oh but i got up late today and i dont think the teacher bought the ' i was late because i had a family emergency excuse' ;). she told me to get up earlier for tomorrow's class..

24/7

monday college starts full swing and it will be back to the grind/ routine.. whatever. and ill be working as well.. college from 8.30 -11.30 and then work. yay! so all this adds to the joy called life. monday we are supposed to present a mood board depicting/ expressing ourselves through a collage... and im wondering how to describe self destructive rebel through pics.. but considering that the rest of the class has conviniently forgotten the project the teacher will excuse us after the usual 'im disappointed' speech (uhh like we care!). after a holiday how exactly does one get up at 7 for college?? im pissed of thinking of college...

and at the end of the day i realise that i am not into the 'work thing'.. im all for the easy money.. and i want to try/ freelance in every thing.. writing/ designing/ styling/ travel.. blah blah.. and i dont want to work 24/7 either. there is no such thing as easy money.. and that is a piss off. i want to be my own boss, do my own sweet thing, and well just 'hang ten'.. the words rat race and ambition are not understood . its like my mind on a vacation every since i finished my undergraduate degree. i think i wana freelance in life. yeah i should just get a t-shirt that says that.

back in business.

are we back to the normal white backgound?? someone please let me know.. its white on my computer.. and i can access my blog from the pakistani site... atleast the mind numbing pink has been removed.

college officially starts from next week.. and i (being a creature of habit) have gotten used to sleeping at 3-4 in the morning and getting up for lunch at 12. how the hell am i supposed to get up next monday i have no idea. a typical day includes zero activity.. or too much activity.. i swing between the two extremes.

yesterday was one of the days of extreme actvity. i left my house at 11 in the morning and returned exactly 12 hours later. spent the better part of the day shuttling between grocery stores and supermarkets. the occassion? my friend was having guests over and i was helping prepare dinner. ok... my friend and me made the 'pineapple suprise' while her mother made the main course et all. donot assume that i have become domestic (i am not probably will never be!). so we finally got the ingridients together and started on what was supposed to be 'pineapple souffle'. incase your wondering why its pineapple and not the trusted choclate, her sister is pregnant so something pineapple was the only thing she could stomach. that was before she knew what we were making. ';) so the mix was made.. and we well were impatient and the souffle did not set. so we contemplated making the pineapple souffle the drink to be seved before/ with meal. finally we did serve the dessert, which her sister christened 'pineapple suprise'. it did not turn out too badly, and i am not kidding! all in all a good day.

so to make up for the 'activity' and the walking done yesterday, today was a lazing around day.. unless you count colouring my hair as activity for the day.