*cheers*

to new beginnings! even if its not the best of decisions a change of scenery is always good.

ilove!

a weekend not well spent

time out

ever felt that time is running out? and in that panic you make decisions that arent exactly smart but seem "right" for the moment your in?

all the small things

sometimes being petty gives you such immense satisfaction that you tend to lose sight of the bigger picture! (which at that point seems like the best plan of action.)

cyclic.

sometimes i feel like i am searching. always searching. from tangible to the intangible. for that nice top. for a good buy. for that elusive peace of mind. i wish sometimes things will be like a magic show. tada and you have it. or you dont have it. the suspense is over in a few minutes. i have learnt that i hate waiting. waiting for people, for an event, anything. just generally hate waiting. the anticipation of things is a whore. cause it leads to expectations which is the mother of all bitches.

wanting /searching - waiting - anticipation - expectation - disappointment. root of all causes is my want. now to attempt to curb it.

having my cake and DEF eating it too!

so i have had a cupcake obsession for a while. seeing numerous cupcakes (dreams and otherwise) pictures i started to ask people where to get them from. i finally managed to get hold of a lady near my house who will make them for me. 12/15 at a time. and she made the cutest ones i have seen. they are all vanilla flavored with various icing options! i have learnt from various cupcake trials that i like the gooey heart/artery clogging ones the best! if your going to die might as well enjoy a taste of heaven!

next week brownie with fudge icing trial!

need. a. happy. place.

just when i thought i was capable of emotional detachment i go and do the stupidest thing. get emotionally attached. i did not even know that i can hurt so much. the pain is not just about physical distance but ironically emotional as well. i do not know why i keep pushing and pulling so much. i give and try not to expect, but that rarely happens. i dont even know how to articulate this. which is a first for me.

the themes are recurrent, the emotion is always the same. the need is always the same. to move to happier place i think i need a physical change. environment wise. people wise. job wise.

how does some one stop reminding you of the past. the good/bad/ugly whatever. i get the fact that you decide how much some one affects your life. how do you wrest that control over your life from some one?

my ego wants gratification. my heart craves stability and assurance. my head needs independence.

how many people can provide all that and still stay invested in me?

(do i dare say) in us?

fini

why is it that some people affect your life even though you no longer have any contact with them? you try so hard to distance yourself from them. try to stop letting them affect you, yet the smallest thing they do depresses you? puts you out of sorts and you obsess about it till eternity or worse blog about it. its probably called closure. but i don't know how to get there. i desperately crave it. add to those woes everyone knows everyone in this shitty city. and this small world phenomenon is getting a bit too old for me. and too close for comfort.

i really wish peace of mind could be bought.

what do i want?

is it ok to have regrets? cause i dont think i have had any. i always feel things happen for a reason. but off late i regret somethings i have done, and wish i could undo them. or work them out differently.

if you knew the ending would you change the way you behaved/ acted/ lived through/with something or someone?

sales pitch

when your in deep shit is when you would know who your friends really are. and more importantly its brings things into perspective. a better perspective at least. stuff i used to obsess and worry about do not matter much to me. and small things that people do makes all the difference. i think my new year resolution is to never sell my self short. i deserve my shot at happiness, stability and peace of mind and its overdue.

free falling.

so i visited the blog world after a while. i love the new template. i love colors. i am not be feeling too colorful off late but color is very uplifting in general.

so london happened. and it was a two week vacation. more like a b'day gift types. the b'day by itself was fun, but this was awesome. it was the awesomest thing in a while. the food, the traveling, shopping!! all amazing. super depressing to sit in chennai after all the amazing things out there in the world. will some one in london employ me??

next on the agenda is that everyone ( meaning all my people) are leaving! spore/ new york/ UK. very depressing. but things have to change, people will move on.

also i have become healthier. its takes a hard, hard fall to scare the fuck out of you. and that's what happened. and now i am at a much better place. and i am happy to be there. i am not uncomfortable. i care less what others think. and i have putting myself a little before.

i am cooking. a lovely thangu got me hooked on to stir fry's, so when i don't like mums cooking i make stir fry's and that is making all the difference. bought new work out shoes, and resistance bands. hope to work out relatively frequently with them. :D

work wise its hitting rock bottom. when everything seems to go smoothly something will suck the joy out of it all. need a new job. it should be ok. but yesh.

home front the brother is back! and its aweesome to have the giant around. never even realised how much i missed him.

more updates when i am feeling more articulate.

hello :)

so london has finally CALLED!! :D

life's lessons.

when will i ever learn? " to expect is to get sucker punched, almost every time". " to let your guard down is to set your self up for the sucker punch".

*SIGH*

hey there

hello,

so i have taken to nail polish in a big way. current fav colours being purple and black. wanting orange and bright pink soonly.

other than that been obsessively watching The Hills since its so informative. have not read anything worth while... recommendations welcome.

bombay trip happening end of the month. and fingers crossed london in june. :)

k bye.

one wedding and a fuck all sprain.

soooo over last weekend i sprained my ankle (missing a step at satyam) sat on it. got up to get kapi thinking i am a.ok, fainted. got up watched the rest of the movie then limped to the doctor. its just a sprain. but looked pretty damn ugly.

i am also all weddinged out. had a close friend/boss's wedding. coz of sprain was limping around some more. but was super fun. yummy food, and decent company. but the amount of money BLOWN at the wedding makes me a little sick. but i think we all have our varying limits when it comes to money spent. which in a way depends on your upbringing and to some extent your "social/financial status". anyway, will mish aforementioned weddinged friend. muah love and kisses for her.

ankle much better. saw a bunch of movies since i was bed ridden for a bit.

hurt locker - didnt like

green zone - loved!

alice in wonderland - sorely disappointed.

the rebound - uhh chick flick.

date night - oookkkkk.

how to train your dragon - LOVED it.

k thats all i can remember now. bye.

stuff

if your unswervingly loyal, is it fair to expect the same?

we might as well be strangers.

what is an appropriate amount of time to wait for something/someone?

two sides of the same coin?

what would suck more someone your dating sleeping with some one else or falling in love with some one else?

shut down

what is it about a fever that makes us all like little babies? maybe its the viral infection coursing through that makes us feel vulnerable. but being sick makes me cranky. irritable.(insert all other synonyms for cranky here), emotional. very weak (maybe this has to do with my low tolerance levels for pain) and just over all sad and miserable. its worse when my mother is not there. (like now).

a) because there is no food, since grandma cant cook to save her life.

b) no one to fuss over you. its probably the only time in my life where i like the attention.

c) worse when you got to get into work. that just blows.

it makes me think. what if i was staying alone, then who would do all of the above? depressing thought. makes me also realize how much i take my mum for granted.