i dont think father and his children namely brother and me are destined to get along. i have waaayy to much attitude when it comes to the man. and he assumes that he still has some control over us. yesterday's "conversation" came out of nowhere. point to be noted father and me do not see each other on a regualr basis. hes a workaholic and im plain anti social where family is concerned. yesterday i had not goen to work, and father had just arrived from one of his innumerable business trips. we were watching tv in peace, when all of a sudden he decides to ask me about my future. my goals. my ambitions. blah blah. im looking at him incredulously cause we never talk! and now he wants to bond. i get all defensive and not answer the questions. after a point i kinda lost it with the man. " What do you plan to do after this?, what are your future goals?" and im like " are you funding me for anything?" father was like do i need to fund you to ask the question. then came the icing on the cake " what is our relationship?!" father asked. " nothing." pat came my response. and i must admit this came quite out of reflex than anything else. so you can imagine the line of thought/conversation.
i was gunning for a new laptop from father. but i dont think any of that will be happnign ever. and he managed to connect 5 different things and now if i push this furthur the existing one i have also will be taken away.
the thing is usually i get upset with every fight and sit and cry like a 2 year old. but this time i really did not get what the man is pissed off about. quite honestly we donot have any relationship what so ever. i never see him and hence see no need to bond with him when i do see him. father seems to be in his own sweet world if he thinks daughter or son for that matter has any attachment towards him. this i think came as a rude shock for daddy dearest.
point is, if you donot invest and work towards a relationship(or a semblance of one) how can you expect anything out of it??
6 comments:
hmm.. good q, except that up until now we'd imagine parents-kids dont fall in that category.
It's a phase. Daughters always win with dads :)
I agree with rads-- daughters seem to get away with more things when it comes to fathers. But you're right-- when you don't put enough effort into a relationship, you can't expect to reap the bonds it allows for. That's just sad that he has to try to connect with you and fails each time. Should have happened sooner. Also the threats of taking away your things like laptops and stuff seem to be a desperate attempt at establishing authority. Honestly, I feel bad that he has to go to that extent to make himself feel like the one "in control" or like the dad... it could have been better. But as you said, he never did the homework.
Cmon! He is working/worked so hard partly to clothe and feed you.
And I am sure as the younger one you definitely score high with the dad. So I would still suggest you try your luck with the lappy:).
haha.. y did u assume im younger?
and yesh ur right i could try with the laptop.. but i cant seem to muster enough affection for family at the moment.
Aww thats a phase. All you need is a trip to Timbuktoo where you have to wash your own clothes and clean your own bathroom.
Archana Baliga.Leave while you can...the faster the better. Dialogues are a waste. Its too late to mend stuff anyway.Take it like it comes.Of course , parents are prlly too tired t even consider 'investing' in 'relationships'....and considering you've been constant on the we dont meet we dont talk stage ...it's prolly for the better of both . ..
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