recommendations!

oh and before i forget there might be a class vacation/trip in the offing.. any interesting places that anyone would want to recommend? i think its a 2 day trip.. think...

see who i am.

its quite refreshing to know that the people you truly love and care about havent changed. and i dont mean at a superficial level... but deep down if they remain the same that is all that matters.. to me atleast. because you know that they dont have any hidden agenda, or plans motives blah... they like you for who you are. with the mood swings, attitude;), coffee+shopping addictions and swearing. they dont expect you to change.. and most important they dont love you so that they can 'reform' you. how many of us can truly say we accept someone else with all their faults? (btw, whos to decide what is a fault.. that aside..:) sure something about someone can irritate the fuck out of us.. but its not about understanding its about respecting difference.

any which way went to bengaluru last week..weekend to be precise, and shopped quite obviously. bought a really nice bag. and loads of other stuff... but off late i have noticed that the first thing i tend to purchase is sunglases. i would be shopping for like an hour, two even and wont be remotely pleased with anything in the vicinity. but after i purchase my nu sunglases then there is no stopping me :) there is some satisfaction when i have shopped, bargained, been cheated :P and then come home exhausted with shopping bags.

so shopped. and partied. and bonded with chip sister dearest's (cuzin sister:) 2 year old lab. apparently he likes'human' females.. and dog 'males'.. if it makes any sense.. and ofcourse updated sistah with all relevant gossip.

ohhhhh, and tgif has the the awesomeest double choclate fudge brownie... :D

goodnight.

sometimes the easiest course of action to take is ignore all the turmoil around you and leave. distance really creates come kind of clarity.. sort of like adding some light to the whole situation. standing your ground at times is not worth it. cause not too many people are worth taking the fight to the end. and the heartache that comes with it is too painful. as is the humiliation that perhaphs, you were too gullible. and at the end of the day we are searching for that ever elusive peace of mind..

pursuit of happyness.

finished shantaram and developed my biceps in the process (hefting the heavy book;). liked it cept for the afghanistan bit.

annnd i got my phone. :))))) the 7390. daddy got back yesterday from uhhhh.. umm.. ok he got back and well i asked if he had gotten the phone. he said no. instead of the usual cribbing. i just said ok and left. i didnt expect him to get it anyway. then he wakes me up at 8 in the morning with the phone in his hand. and its the exact same colour i had asked for :). so yay.

so now my old phone goes to brother as it always does.. except he does not know that it is a 'fashion phone'. aside from the fact that the phone is non existent in his huge hand its a gurls phone. and well i have deleted all incriminating software like 'fashion model' or something like that. so brother is kinda kicked about the camera on the phone. amd he cannot try to usurp the nu phone as its pink. and he'll die before he walks around with that. so alls well that ends well.

quote, unquote

" i take an interst in everything, and commit to nothing"


;D sounds very familiar.

crossroads

i donot know if i want to study furthr or work. its like my friend( dear friend.. not do dear any more;P) said 'you know baliga, after your masters maybe you should apply for a P.Hd or the like in fashion something or the other.. and then soon you'll be one of my most 'educated' friend..' then he couldnt continue as he was laughing a 'bit much'...

aisde from the most educated bit.. im just confused esp with admissions around the corner..

Q&A.

is disenchanment the same thing as losing interest? if distance results in self reliance can it be equated to indifference? can indifference be equated to cruelty? pesudo-intellectual bullshite?? i dont know.. maybe.. just putting pen to paper..

profound thoughts and the like...

brother dearest seems to have a gurlfrend!!! so hence hes off my case for the moment.. a good thing.. but im wondering how long this one will last.

an excerpt from our conversation:

bro: her name is rachel.
moi: does she have a brain.
bro: shes 5'9"
moi: does she have a brain.
bro: she has nice hair.
moi: brain???
bro: she's very fair.
moi: brain (sob)
bro: she talks a lot.

well i dont/didnt have much to say after that....

bittersweet..

of sunshine, and warmth

laughter and the like;

i know not much.

i am forever reminicising

in the winter of my life.

living in cliches.

articulating within catch phrases.

dreaming of things i have,

but, dont recognise.

playing out fantasies in reality.

at times fragments,

probe at the distant past.

a penchant for drama,

a flair for the theatrical

drowning in self pity,

i am immortalised; within the

nostalgia that is my present.

stuff...

finally read linda goodmans book on sunsigns. and well what can i say i am gemini through and through. though somethings are not exactly what i wanted to hear/ read about myself.

btw does any one know what to do with a brother who is 'acting up'?? off late he has for some reason decided to be my guardian angel or some fucking shit. so he thinks he has the sole right to tell me who to be friends with blah blah.. btw this is when it comes to the boys... i can hang with any of the gerls and that aint a problem.. but when it comes to the boys his favourite line is ' you don't know boys'. sob. sob. sob. sob.

all the small things.

its just the small games people play.. a kind of one upmanship.. these games are boring after the first few rounds. and its just a matter of who gives in first. at times i act so freaking dense and ignorant (i am very observant) that i disgust myself. these games are highly selfdestructive. and just because i choose not to indulge in them ( all the time that is..) does not mean i dont know the game or the rules. nor does it mean i am novice at it. they bore me. and its a matter of who is the 'bigger' person at the end of the damn day.

breaking the law.

now for a more 'chilled' out post.. does anyone believe in horoscopes? because my parents especially my mother thinks god above wrote/ made our horoscopes and the word is the law. the astrologer is more loved than family members. and he is an asshole. i takegrest pleasure in ignoring him and making him feel like shite. he comes home and gives gyaan like your daughter will go abroad. the awesome bit is my mother will blindly believe this shite. and tell me im going abroad. when i was crying my self hoarse for the past few years wanting to go abroad no one seems to give a fuck. but yea some random person says it and hey im hauling ass. like the astrologer is paying for my fees abroad.

aside from will she go abroad.. everyone's favourite question is when will she get married? ( not WILL she, but when) is it given that i am interested in marriage? i guess so.. though i have said numerous times that i am not. the question they are afraid to ask ( i love this part;) will she marry with in the community? i dont to marry. aside from the fact that i think my community is a piece of shit and i have an almost racist/ communal dislike for most members from this community. and marrying with in the community is an achivement in which walk to life??

what really irritates me is that the astrologers word is law. no one wants to let destiny take its own course. i have nothing against astrology. but all sciences need to approached with an open mind, and reasoning. evryone is so preoccupied with the future that we lose the present. and there is nothing worse than that. but mother dearest feels that astrology is the be all and end all. so i asked her "if the astrologer says i am going to die tomorrow will you start funeral preperations today?"

breakstuff.

this is highly repetitive the fact i cant/dont? want to do something about it pisses me off.. but i so freaking need to vent its not even funny.. this has definitely moved on form the fact that a plain fuck off isnt even enough, now i feel the urge to whack someone/something really hard. very hard. now that one part of the ranting is over.. the point at hand is the fact that i am a bitch.. but apparently i am not as well. certain people piss the fuck outta me.. and i cant seem to tell them to fuck off. i dont hang with any of them, and have not had a meaning ful conversation with them in months. i dont see a reason for the 'stalkerish' interest they have in me. this is despite all the attitude i have thrown.. and the fact that i have been too 'busy' to meet with any of them in months. i am anti confrontational so i try to get someone else to start the fight so i can finish it off and leave!! but why any of them are still clinging on to me is beyond me actually.. and most ofthem had no respect in my eyes to begin with.. now the fact that they seem to have no self respect, or dignity to leave after all the insults well lets just say they cease to exist..

the question now is i am not doing something about it? or i cant do anything about it.. and yes i know we can do whatever we want blah blah.. but if i do tell them to fuck off no one just leaves.. there are a hundred questions.. and i dont like being answerable to anyone. not even my parents. so these people technicaly dont feature anywhere. so instead of answering questions i get evasive. i just go into hiding. and my favourite line is that college is a bitch and i have too much work. if you go by the amount of work i am supposed to be doing i should atleast have 2 fashion stores in the city.

which again comes down to the fact that most of these people are highly superficial. what u wear. what you drive. intellectual reasoning and intelligence is beyond most. and more importantly none of them possess andy semblance of indiviuality.. which is by far the worst! why did i even hang out with them?? good question. when u meet people for the first time that too in a night club there isnt much room for conversation. so everyone appears normal. then you hang out with them and realise they are all tad too lame. and so i try to back off. and not meet. that leads to fifty questions as to why i am not meeting. please note college, grades, amibition is not of much importance to many in the group. arrears are cool you see. and the amazing thing about this is that they assume they are 'cool' and the rest of the world actually subscribes to this dictum too.

so i guess fuck off is what the doctor ordered..... *sigh*

want ;(

sniff. sniff anyone want to buy it me? i guess not..*sigh*.

wtf!!

in all honesty im all game to talk about meself but this is crazy.. any which way here goes..

1. Were you named after anyone?

naa. dont think so.. but to find this out i gotta communicate with my parents.

2. Do you wish on stars?

no!
3. When did you last cry?

yesterday night.. on contrary to popular belief i get hurt too.. and i am highly emotional..

4. Do you like your handwriting?

been drawing and painting for over two years to admire the beauty of my handwriting..

5. What is your favourite meat?

not a fan of meat.. but like tandoori chicken.

6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf?

my hawt pink i pod. :P

7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?

if you can look past the attitude i am a louvely human being. :P honestly though, maybe i make a good friend.. you just gotta get past the shields first.

8.Are you a daredevil?

sure.. im gearing up to set my house ablaze at the moment..


9. How do you release anger?

on any person in the vicinity. :P i need to vent.

10. Where is your second home?

now that you mention it... anyone willing to take me in??

11. Do you trust others easily?

no. end of story.

12. What was your favourite toy as a child?

barbie. :P

13. What class in school/college do you think is totally useless?

school is a waste of money. and college is a waste of time.


14. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

'a lot' is a matter of perspective.

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?

wat the fuck is mosh pit?

16.What do you look for in a guy/girl?

sense of humour and intelligence beats good looks anyday.

17. Would you bungee jump?

hell yeah! except you might have to push me over the edge after that i am game. ;P

18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

not a shoe person. if i do wear them, i cant be bothered to tie or untie them..slipon baiby!

19. What's your favourite ice cream?

coffee.coffee.coffee.coffee.

20. What are your favourite colours?

pink.black.gold.bronze.

21. What are your least favourite things?

hypocrisy. being answerable to people. artificiality. lack of respect for space.

22. How many people do you have a crush on right now?

none.

23. Who do you miss most right now?

cookie and simi.

24. What are you listening to right now?

pal pal dil ke pas - kishore kumar.

25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?

pink! was there any doubt??!

26. What is the weather like right now?

its actually chilly for chennai ;(

27. Last person you talked to on the phone?

vysh dearest.

28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex?

smile!! a genuine smile goes a looonngg way.

29. Do you like the person who sent you this?

i had liked schmetterling's posts/blog.. but after this 50 questions i am reconsidering my descision.. :P

30. How are you today?

pissed as hell. this is me on a regular basis so dont assume that i am social. i am not.

31. Favourite non alcoholic drink?

orange juice.. actually any juice.. louve it..

32. Favourite alcoholic drink?

not much of a kudikari.. coffee is my poison.

33. Natural hair colour?

coffee brown..lol.. actually daddy thinks its dirty brown due to lack of oil.. but watever!

34. Eye colour?

sky blue when im happy. and scarlet red when im angry... lol..

35. Wear contacts?

umm sunglasses are the only eye wear things i possess...

36. Siblings?

younger brother who i just fought with so not much louve for him at the moment.

37. Favourite month?

june.

38. Favourite food?

coffee is a food group. dont argue with me on this one.

39. Favourite day of the year?

uhhhhhhhhhh nothing really..

40. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out?

no i am not a shy person.. i just get scared that's about it..

41. Scary movies or happy endings?

scary movies with happy endings.

42. Summer or winter?

summer!! i ll die if chennai had a winter season..

43. Holi or Diwali?

any festival as long as i get moeny from grandma..

44. Do you like your name?

surname yes. first name no.

45. What book/magazine are you reading?

the diary of anne frank. finally!

46. What's on your mouse pad?

dont have one! anyone want to buy me one...?

47. What did you watch on TV last night?

umm wat exactly is television??

48. Favourite Smell?

coffee. citrus fragrance. ysl- cinema.

49. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone?

no.

50. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done?

answering this questionaire..

now that i have finished my sentence i tag :

Bhaiyaji and vysh..

blood on the dance floor..

and for once i mean the title literally.. saturday nights are meant for partaying and chilling out with friends.. but some people tend to take the concept of chilling out to a whole new level! take last saturday night for an example.. i was out partaying and celebrating a good friends birthday.. and then of a sudden a scuffle breaks out at 12.30 a.m. drunken guy 1 and drunken guy 2 are going at each other on the dance floor in dublin. point is the fight took place behind me.. and when i was yanked to the side by my friend i decided to turn around. what a nasty surprise was awaiting me.. some 6'3" guys fist in my mouth. not face. mouth. luckily two others were holding him back and there was no dental damage on my gorgeous face :P by the time i could recover from the blow, drunken guy 1 tried to land another punch and sent drunken guy 2 sprawling across my friend, who fell on me.. and i fell on someone else.. all the time i was thanking god that i was wearing jeans not a tiny skirt!! they were of course thrown out . that was the only damage control the damn club did.. fuckers. now gettin to the damages.. there was blood.. and i freaked 'cause i was wondering what was broken. a bit many episodes of the contender i have seen, you see lol.... so i was fiddling with my nose for a good ten minutes. ok nose is fine. cheek is fine. eye is fine. lips loooook fine.. but there is blood in my mouth. gory yes. but i finally figured that i had split my lip and that was the reason for the 'bloodshed'.. case and point being people who cannot hold their drinks piss me off. and now i have even more reason to tell them to go hang.

for the record i am fine.. no injuries.. and my dear dear friend gave a very valuable 'suggestion' incase my father noticed (if there was a bruise, and there wasnt/isnt!!;) he said tell daddy dearest there was a 'bitch fight'...

she will be loved.....

wanted to post day2-4 of the IIT culturals.. but moving off tangent here.. i have never thought of myself as selfish or demanding.. im not talking about the materialistic nature/ or life.. (i too deand my pink i pod and the like:). im talking about relationship with people. any relationship.. nothing in particular.. i have always thought of myself as sort of like an island and 'thrive' on the fact that i dont need people. but without realising it we make demands of people. we expect them to love us the way we love them. react the way we react. sure i harp on and on about difference, and how we need to repect it... but i dont think i respect it to get to others. and more than anything i think we/i should practice whatever the hell it is we are preaching!!

but i expect so much from any relationship around me.. and i expect things to come in the tidy little package that i want it to.. which again brings up the fact that its my way on the highway.. but i guess that isnt the way things work.. and more often i end up wondering if there truly are people i can relate too...

and i ronically today my father sent me mail ( no no he's in the same city next door even.. lol..) it was a forward.. and my first reaction to forwards is deleting them. but one line in that whole email stayed with me.. 'just because someone dosent love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean that they dont love you with all that they have'...

day 1

alwite a quick recount of the fashion show. we didnt win. but we had fun! same difference i guess. the first day was the most memorable so ill go into details...

26th: we reached at 6.30 in the morning. i had not had my customary mug of kapi and was sleep deprived. so social and moi donot exactly go in the same sentence. there was no one at the damn station to pick us up or inform us as to where the fuck we are supposed to go. and we had numerous offers from taxi drivers keen on making a killing. after frantic calls, we find the bus and get mothered because of the national roaming bills. as we board the bus we realise that there is a another college from punjab boarding with us. and they have to be some of the best looking boys i have seen in a long time. :P so fuck breakfast all the gurls are frantically combing their hair and searching for mirrors to look their 7 o clock 'best'. lol.. and i must mention there are only boys. none of the hawt punjabi kudis. so we (girls) offer a small prayer to the lord above and take it as a sign of things to come.

as we reached IIT's 580 acre campus we are slightly in awe (read:numb with fear) of the scale of the damn culturals. we are informed that there were 1,500 students all over india who had come to participate in the culturals! and for some one who suffers from stage fright this isnt exactly good news. after the registration and jazz have been completed we are taken to our respective hostels. IIT's campus is very conducive for weight loss. especially considering that the distance between hostels is a good 15 minute walk. and that is the minimum distance! so the girls are dropped outside hostel no:11. so we wait outside the damn gates waiting for the one boy allowed inside the gurls hostel, mr. saagar,lol.. we have a suitcase + one handbag each and then, we have the costume bag which weighs nothing less than 15 kgs. saagar comes and dies looking at the baggage. so he decides to help us. and he carries the vanity case, while the gurls are hefting the costume bag+our suitcases+handbags+mattresses 4 floors. after the morning exercise we get into a fight with dear saagar regarding our luggage, the room, matress, the lack of a curtain. hotwater, and the need for a mirror. we have come for a fashion show after all, and we insist he provides us with one.. ;P at this point im sure all you boys who were thinking of saagar's enviable position are thinking twice.

the rest of the day was spent in taking countless photos, checking out other events and shopping!!! we attacked linking road, and if my father has any inclination as to how much money i have spent i might be disowned. :D all in all a great start to the holiday!

like the movies.

tis seems to be the season to get married. one very good friend tied the knot yesterday. and its the first time i have ever attended a typical christian wedding. it was just like in the movies. flowers. bridesmaids. best man. white gown. veil. i do's and the kiss! :P i did feel terribly out of place in my pretty pink sari. even 60 year ols ladies were in gowns and very very hawt attire. and all of a sudden i felt very old. damn it should have worn some partay attire for the wedding. not like i can wear it to any hindu weddings! :P all the groom's homies were in white suits with ties and looking very dashing i must say. and the bridesmaids were in off white gowns with gold bows. the whole affair was one and a half hours long. and there were only 60 people at the wedding. such a refreshing change from the nonsense that constitutes most konkani (maybe most hindu) weddings!

but one thing i was waiting for was the question of anyone having any objection to the marriage speak now or forever hold your peace and all that jazz.. that never came up.. lol.. not that anyone would have any objection but i was kinda waiting for that. (the question that is not the damn anwer!)

after partay.

before anyone asks no we didnt win. i think the skanks from xaviers won. lol.. but that didnt stop the partaying, nor the shopping. shopped a bit much i must say. had to courier two bags cause flying down with excess baggage can be expensive. :P anyway ahppy new year y'all hope u all had fun!