india's biggest export to the world is not yoga or chicken curry.. its probably 'denial'. my parents especially mother is the perfect example of the 'relief' that denial provides.
according to her we are the quintessential happy family.getting up each day thinking yes i can keep this house together. have no idea how she does it. it is admirable getting up each and everyday and keeping track of family members who dont quite believe the concept of family exists. denial works in mysterious ways i must assure you. its not about seeing the bright side at the time of adversity, its about wondering if there is any adversity to begin with. sort of like living/seeing life through those rose coloured glases. there are never any moments of doubt or any kind of haziness. its about seeing life the way you want it. its about being blind to the damn reality, and many a time mother dearest has proven that 'denial' truly works! yay. who needs drugs when there is denial??!
9 comments:
you kids! :p
I donno if it's denial in the specific context you write, but it's more on faith. Sometimes moms just have to do whatever it takes, it's hard on them too when the choices are not great.
you'll see, once you become one :p
denial is addictive. once you get hooked on to it, you can't get out of it. and it's also the ultimate happiness, ignoring what isn't relevant to know, that might potentially snatch away that ray of hope or happiness. and totally true examples are parents. totally.
and somehow the fact that the ranting hasnt been judged as a rant has given me a lot of mental peace. seriously.
@rads: faith is good. blind faith aint so happning.. or maybe its a the same thing.. but in my context i truly see denial. there is faith. i see tht as well.. but the denial pisses me of.
yep agree@denial. I have my share of it to bear too.. as a daughter, not mom. for now.
Wow! Your first statement, "India's biggest export ...." just makes you patent one of the basic human psychological emotions as a very Indian thing, as if India is the cradle of all civilization. But moving beyond that,
If your mom thinks that since the family does not believe in the concept of family, there is no point in trying to keep it together than would you term it as it is no longer denial and she could see reality.
Think about it for a moment. Passivity is also a form of denial. An essential conundrum to be sure but it is true. Will this be a fair hypothesis to make that the family members who do not believe in the concept of family are actually themselves in denial!
And that implies, your mom is not in denial but actually has a hope, that the others can looks past their denial. And that hopes make her face all the adversity in a way that the others think, she is seeing no adversity!
Probably you are confusing hope with faith and denial!
- The Pilgrim
http://shadowywaters.wordpress.com
So very true. Believe me denial works like magic and you just can't do a thing about it.
yeah i think i typed this out 5 times and each time the damn server crashed.. anyway..
the first statment is not to be taken literally. but moving on..
the point is that my mother refuses to see that 'the quintessential happy family' is not a reality. the point is not of her trying to make it work. the point is her refusing to acknowledge that there is a problem.
denial is at the end of the day the refusal to acknowledge that there is a prob. as for the family members.. i can speak only for my self. i am not in denial. i know there is a prob. i can see it. i know it. but i dont do anything about it. that is plain passivity. im just being complacent by not doing anything about the situation. whch isnt denial according to me.
i'd say its her choice..u know.. whatever keeps her sane and happy....
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