a myriad facets.

"there are a thousand reasons not to go.

you know them all.

there is only one reason to go...

and you know it too.

its called life.

don't waste it counting to thousand everyday.

just do it." - (behind the cover of a book i have)

why is it that the forces in the universe conspire to create an event in your life only to remove its essence later on?? is it to give you a taste of what all life can offer you?? sort of like a fucking twisted version of baskin robbins 31 flavours?!! maybe 'they'(the forces)believe in the philosophy its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. whatever happened to the good ol' ignorance is bliss?? uh?? anyone? *sigh*

the reason behind this self imposed depression and angst is that my good friend and saviour in college is shifting to another college. the reasons are numerous enough to warrant another post. anyway....i was wondering how i am going to motivate my self to go to college from next week onwards. earlier atleast she was there. someone to laugh with, bitch with, and moan with (but of course) and well basically do everything with.

its amazing how soon i can get attached to people, and things, and events. i never pictured myself in my own mind as sentimental or overly emotinal. but i guess you learn something new about yourself everyday..... but this attachment to objects animate and inanimate is scary. whoever came up with the concept of loved and lost never included the concept of heartache and pain.

here i am not just talking about my one friend but all my friends over the due course of my student life and otherwise. it is very sad and scary cause in college we remain inseperable and make promises of keeping in touch yet ......time and life in general i guess have other plans for us. and well from then on taking timeout becomes a chore. then friends become mere memories to be admired in photo albums and, objects to become nostalgic over.

i dont even understand the need to meet to part ways!! ok maybe its a test to test strength of charcter, maybe fate, destiny whatever you may call it. i donot understand the concept. and more importantly i donot have any solution to it. ( me and my need for control)

when i started college itself i was very disconcerted to have to make friends all over again. its very demandng to bare your soul open everytime. and have it trampled over. and to be nice to people all over again.

i crave routine. yet routinely get bored with it. yes yes i know contradictory is my middle name. routine is nice at times. safe. yeah that was the word i was looking for. often safety becomes synoymous with boring. well at times the mind needs a safe haven to retreat to when cornered. or in case the experiment backfires...... so hence my need for safety and stability.

well to conclude i have to say thank you my friend for enriching my life and brightening up my day for the past two months and being my safety zone. wish you all the best at the new college.

*muah*.

" there are a thousand reasons not to go,

you know them all.

there is only one reason to go,

and you know it too.

its called life.

don't waste it counting to thousand everyday,

just do it!"